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[Feb. 1st, 2005|02:33 am] |
it is 2:30 in the morning and i have yet to start my english paper on "respect for a living christian faith and affirmation of the dignity of the human person" i dont know what half these words mean
ps: i have a tattoo. its cute. its the size of a quarter and cost 70 dollars. its a heart. its on my hip. i would post a pic but they were all too graphic..
help |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 14th, 2005|04:32 pm] |
I would not normally post these things but I felt my fellow slut warehouse girls would like this one..
Pieces of Me by Ashlee Simpson |
"Fall, with you I fall so fast
I can hardly catch my breath
I hope it lasts"
In 2004 you fell in love. Let's hope it lasts.
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| every stranger's face I see reminds me that I long to be ...homeward bound |
[Nov. 3rd, 2004|11:50 pm] |
eww I just discovered Clockwork Orange on TV..weird ass movie..it creeps me out and reminds me of the weird Charlie Chaplin guy I met on Halloween. Anyways
I havent posted on here in a long time so to keep everyone updated...I am coming home this weekemd!, but I have started to grow fond of the weekends up here at PSU, and thats where all my problems start. I am still going to transfer home next semester, to Holy Family. As of tonight I didnt know why I was leaving, but I figured it out
I HATE change, and that has been my problem all along. I was quoted many times senior year as saying "I could leave right now and live in Ireland for the rest of my life and never look back," something along those lines. I realize now I did this because I was afraid of the inevitable change, and if I told myself I was soo ready for it, it wouldnt affect me as much. Going home isnt going to solve the problem, so what will? Right now it feels like the only thing that will help, the only thing I myself can change. It scares me..Compared to the restof our lives, this is just a small change. If I cant even accept this, then how am I going to deal with the rest of what life has coming for me?
I dont know why I didnt see this all along. Ive had the same group of friends literally my whole life, and for the most part I dont think that will ever change. I have a hard time when it comes to new people, I tend not to ever get too close because I feel like I already have all my friends. My heart longs for Philadelphia at all times, but why? For the past two years ive been pining over the same boy...do I really love him, or is it because its what ive known and been accustomed to for so long now? I feel like I could never do better than him, and these feelings will never come back once lost to him. I know thats not the truth, but I cant make myself believe otherwise. Will I ever accept things for what they are?
Its always told "Live your life to the fullest, have no regrets, live everyday like its your last" yea yea yea. When I hear these things I agree, but two seconds later they leave my head without another thought. We all worry about such petty things, have dumb fights over dumb reasons, and at times stay so quiet in fear of rejection that we never say what we want to.
Im 18 and I feel so old. I wanna go back to kindergarten..naptime, playtime, so simple..I need Wildwood where problems could mostly be solved with beer and tryin to get yours, something I took for granted
Dont make fun, I already know how much of a dork I am, I accept it |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 12th, 2004|10:22 am] |
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Mer mer mer mer mer mer mer is all i have to say..one goddamn day..a little over 24 hours till I may die a happy girl |
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| This is the best man, im so glad were all back together and stuff.. |
[Oct. 6th, 2004|10:02 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  dirty | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Our Lady Peace | ] |
First off I must apologize To Theresa for fighting with her down the shore when I wanted to listen to Saleras shitty mixes andshe would get mad..I now know how it feels. The roomie has figured out how to use napster and listens to worse music then me...Oh no. She has this extremely annoying friend who is always over and Right now they are doing the robot while listening to Spice Girls and Barbie Girl. grrrrr
My rant about ARHS was because I received a 64 on my math test which I thought I did extremely well on, but I am still about the class average so that is good. The Kramefest bought our tickets today. We shall be arriving in Philly at around 7pm and are not leaving for PSU until 630 on Sunday night!! So much time home! I hear there are alot of plans being made..hayrides, GAD hangouts, drunken South Street, and many more. I also hope to spend the daytime at Glen Ford, get drunk at Jen Eagan parties, and much more with my greatly missed friends. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 5th, 2004|11:36 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | Fucked | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | roomates annoying voice | ] |
Fuck Archbishop Ryan...Fuck PSU..Fuck my roomate..I should be in a college for retards |
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| This wait is unbearable!!.... |
[Oct. 5th, 2004|01:46 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  anxious | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Save Ferris---Mistaken | ] |
I must say I like stalking the lj world rather than writing on it. But here goes...
The weekend was amazing in the presence of the one and only Theresa Murphy. We didnt get much accomplished besides drinking and eating pizza, but that is not too strange for us. Dorm parties both nights, many many shots were taken. [yes, by me, all of you slut warehousers who know that I can not drink the liqour to save my life]. Kramer decided to pass out at 10 on saturday and wake up at 5 in the morning and call us to go out, but seeing as this is not wildwood we were all sleeping. Sunday was a sad day when Tmurph had to leave, and she made it even sadder by not giving us the look back!!! who doesnt look back??
Opinions are needed from anyone who went/goes to Ryan...do you feel you ever learned anything? I thought I was smart until I came to PSU. I feel like I wasnt prepared for college, being my fault or Ryans I do not know. I study, but have only managed 70s and 80s and these are not normal grades for me. Am i setting my standards too high? I just got a 50 on astro:*( Not good. Only about 8 weeks till I fing out whether im smart or not.
Only eight days are left until I am on the bus to Philly. I may have a ride I shall find out in an hour. I cant wait for GAD and the porch hangout. To go to Chickies. To see all the friends, which Haefele claims are not there, but this is not true. To get soaked, hopefully. Only good things can come from this trip. Im gonna put pics up later but I need the assistance of Kramer |
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| many many tests tomorrow...should be studying |
[Sep. 27th, 2004|03:54 pm] |
The internet in my room will not be working until at least tuesday night..im going crazy without it. This weekend started out good, with me and haef owning a keg, and ended horrible with me hysterical and lost at 5 in the morning. Saturday night just put me in a horrible mood that stayed all of Sunday.
Today, September 27, I have been a college student for exactly one month. The month has gone by quite quickly, but I feel like ive been up here so much longer. I started out hating this place more than life itself, but it has gotten considerably better. I still know where I belong though, and it is not here. And for people who think elsewise, going home is completely my decision and does not rely in any way on my feelings for another individual. Just thought I should clear that one up. Me and this individual may not even be talking anymore??Who knows.
This weekend looks like it wil be good times. Many people are supposed to come to relieve me of my stress, then one more weekend and I am free. I cant wait to be back home, it looks so promising with everybody being there. I am up for drinking in the woods which I have not done in what seems like forever. Anybody else??
I have come to the realization that I will be one of those psycho wives when I get married...I will be jealous and completely insane. |
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| Not a single thought today... |
[Sep. 23rd, 2004|12:12 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | sick sick sick | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | AFI my favorite band | ] |
I know this is written twice i Fed up
Who knew people actually read my interests?? Matt Darragh discovered my favorite band today..AFI. Oh how funny. But i have discovered an answer to my ever dreaded question..."whats your favorite band?" And the answer is...Reel Big Fish. Feels good to know the answer and not have to say Nsync as a not funny joke.
So I have studied math for about 6 hours today and I still may not pass. Grrr college is hard. Me Kaiser and a few friends made a study group. One girl looked like she was trying to get hers with the long haired emo boy. Nice kid but unfortunately not too good looking:*(. He was from Boston and seemed as though he would fit in quite nicely with our friends. I went to Ryders later for some more math help with Kramer and got more outta him in 1 hour than the whole 5 hour study session.
I got a letter from a friend today! That was a nice suprise. I see alotta the lj entries have been about homesickness. This makes me very happy in a way to know that I am not the only one that feels this way, I was feeling kinda outta place. Esp when Murph mentioned her homesickness and shes still in Philly. Its only a few more weekends till many people are back home and then Thanksgiving and Christmas are not far away. And then Wildwood!!! o how I long for it. Homework to be done... |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 21st, 2004|05:30 pm] |
So what shall I write about for my first entry? I will tell about the tales of my weekend. Thursday night after an hour long discussion with the love of my life about how gay frats are and how there all guys with popped collars paying 500 to have friends, i went to one. Yes, I know I am a hypocrite, but I will no longer talk shit because the have come to be quite fun. I recieved 20 dollars from Clancy this night, 10 to do his laundry and 10 to say something random to some girl. That was a good deal to me. I also fell down the stairs and got a HUGE bruise on my leg. And in response to what Lisa said, I also received my first college kiss. I woke up in the morning took the walk of shame home and went to class. Friday went out with Lisa and her fellow Hibbs and ended up at Ungers, my fav place to go, where we sucessfully accomplished our goals. The next day was the game and that night I went to Jillian Schaffners were I drank many twisted teas and could no longer normally talk. I must say it didnt feel the same to drink teas without Theresa Murphy. I feel i must add something to Kaisers weekend, besides the fact that he pushed me and i slapped him. I do not think he mentioned the sexual deeds that happened while he was passed out in the next bed. Sunday i saw <3Mike McCarthy for the first time all weekend. What a treat that was. Me and Kramer went out to lunch with him then me Kramer Kaiser Mkk Dennis and Lauren went downtown. We sat in this place called Irvings, which everyone would have loved. It felt like I was sitting downtown in the Starbucks on South Street. It reminded me so much of the night we drew on the card and Theresa tried to hang herself with the curtain. How much I miss that. Although I say I do not like PSU, i do love the weekends here.
I woke up yesterday extremely sick. I called my mom about 5 times to tell her I was sick and she did not answer me or call me back! I found out later this was because she was in the ER . I never thought I would actually miss my mom, but I do to an extreme. I call her almost everyday just to ask her something stupid, and today i talked to her like 6 times to figure out my schooling situation.
Today I did not feel as sick,and was in a very good mood. I dropped my nutrition class which was horrible , and now have the plan to go to Holy Family College for a semester to get enough credits for Temple. I feel this will work out for the best, because nutrition would have made my GPA drop very low. Then I came across my K-ros letters. I read my letters from Therea and Anne and instead of making me sad like I thought they made me so happy. I was crying the whole time I was reading them. They made me realize how lucky I am to have such a good group of friends. In highschool there were all these groups of girls who were like stealing eachothers boyfriends, having sex with them, talking about eachother. We were never like that. Even up here I had a few girls tell me they didnt have a close group of friends at home. I could never imagine that. I think thats why I dont like it up here. Im so used to having my best friends around me 24/7 that it doesnt feel right to be to not have everyone here, esp after this summer. I sometimes took that for granted and didnt always realize how much everyone ment to me. Although I always new how much they meant to me, I will never again forget that. I hope you all know that I love you and would do anything for you. Goodnight all<3 |
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| Im hoping to keep you interested... |
[Sep. 20th, 2004|01:05 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | sitting in silence roomie is sleeping | ] |
I gave into the live journal craze although I swore senior year I never would. I just figured I should stop my habit of stalking people because i seem to check the lj world about 10 times a day. This gets me no school work accomplished. Thanks must go out to Michael J Kaiser and Theresa Murphy. I will tell all my tales of this weekend tommorrow, nutrition homework must be done. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 19th, 2004|06:37 pm] |
My name is Ashley and I have been addicted to Live Journal for months now. Now I finally have one of my own.<---Michael j Kaiser
Heh heh heh. |
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